25 Principles for a Lasting Relationship

Twenty-five principles to your relationship, that could make a life-changing difference in your marriage! In no particular order.

1. Choose to love each other even in those moments when you struggle to like each other. Love is a commitment, not a feeling.

2. Always answer the phone when your husband/wife is calling and when possible, try to keep your phone off when you’re together with your spouse.

3. Make time together a priority. Budget for a consistent date night. Time is the “currency of relationships” so consistently invest time into your marriage.

4. Surround yourself with friends who will strengthen your marriage and remove yourself from people who may tempt you to compromise your character.

5. Make laughter the soundtrack of your marriage. Share moments of joy, and even in the hard times, find reasons to laugh.

6. In every argument, remember that there won’t be a “winner” and a “loser.” You are partners in everything so you’ll either win together or lose together. Work together to find a solution.

7. Remember that a strong marriage rarely has two strong people at the same time. It’s usually a husband and wife taking turns being strong for each other in the moments when the other feels weak.

8. Prioritize what happens in the bedroom. It takes more than sex to build a strong marriage, but it’s nearly impossible to build a strong marriage without it!

9. Remember that marriage isn’t 50-50, divorce is 50-50. Marriage has to be 100-100. It’s not splitting everything in half, but both partners giving everything they’ve got!

10. Give your best to each other, not your leftovers after you’ve given your best to everyone else.

11. Learn from other people, but don’t feel the need to compare your life or your marriage to anyone else’s. God’s plan for your life is masterfully unique!

12. Don’t put your marriage on hold while you’re raising your kids or else you’ll end up with an empty nest and an empty marriage.

13. Never keep secrets from each other. Secrecy is the enemy of intimacy.

14. Never lie to each other. Lies break trust and trust is the foundation of a strong marriage.

15. When you’ve made a mistake, admit it and humbly seek forgiveness. You should be quick to say, “I was wrong. I’m sorry. Please forgive me.”

16. When your husband/wife breaks your trust, give them your forgiveness instantly which will promote healing and create the opportunity for trust to be rebuilt. You should be quick to say, “I love you. I forgive you. Let’s move forward.”

17. Be patient with each other. Your spouse is always more important that your schedule.

18. Model the kind of marriage that will make your sons want to grow up to be good husbands and your daughters want to grow up to be good wives.

19. Be your spouse’s biggest encourager, not his/her biggest critic. Be the one who wipes away their tears, not the one who causes them.

20. Never talk badly about your spouse to other people or vent about them online. Protect your spouse at all times and in all places.

21. Always wear your wedding ring. It will remind you that you’re always connected to your spouse and it will remind the rest of the world that you’re off limits!

22. Connect into a community of faith. A good church can make a world of difference in your marriage and family.

23. Pray together. Every marriage is stronger with God in the middle of it.

24. When you have to choose between saying nothing or saying something mean to your spouse, say nothing every time!

25. Never consider divorce as an option. Remember that a “perfect marriage” is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other!

Source: http://strongermarriages.com/the-best-marriage-advice-ever/

Advertisements

Love Reflection: A Poor Boy Loved a Girl

What are the qualities you look for in a lifetime partner?
When I was younger, I preferred a good-looking face, humor, and outgoing personality. As I grow in the Lord and get older, things changed! Men who have Christ-like attitude, smart, responsible, and lovingly understanding became more attractive to me. I have developed this sense of preference because God is teaching me so. I want a loving husband who my future children could look up to and be proud of.

There’s no denying of a fact that nowadays, some men and women prioritize something else when looking for an ideal partner. For some, those who can give them anything and everything they want –a lavish lifestyle (for women) or a beautiful body (for men), etc.). For this reason, they tend to check bank accounts or dimensions of a person’s body first before knowing their personality and character.

So with this short story.


A poor boy loved a rich girl. One day the boy proposed to her and the girl said, “Hey! Listen, your monthly salary is my daily hand expenses. How can I be involved with you? How could you have thought of that? I can never love you. So, forget about me & get engaged to someone else at your level”. But somehow the boy could not forget her so easily.

Sometime 10 years later, they stumbled into each other in a shopping mall. The lady said, “Hey! You! How are you? Now I’m married and do you know how much my husband’s salary is? $1,700 per month! Can you believe that? And he is also very smart.” The guy’s eyes got wet with tears on hearing those words. A few seconds later, her husband came but before the lady could say a word, her husband seeing the guy, said, “Sir you’re here? Meet my wife.” Then he said to his wife, “This is my boss, I’m also one of those working on his $100 million project. And do you know a fact my dear? My boss loved a lady but he couldn’t win her heart. That’s why he has remained unmarried. How lucky would that lady have been if she had married him. These days, who will love someone that much he said to his wife. The lady looked in total shock but couldn’t utter a word.©


[But for the sake of my future children, let me add financial stability on my list 😀 😀 ]

Lesson: Life is so short and it’s just like a mirror. You can only see as much as it reflects. So don’t be too arrogant and proud of yourself by looking down on people because situations change with time.
So, let us not under estimate anyone.. because everyone has a potential ^_^

Sharing is caring.

Cheers,
👣 HistoryMaker/The Official Traveler ®

Q&A: Would You Change Your Religious Beliefs To Marry Someone You Love?:

Does this sound familiar? I startled when I heard this question for the first time. You might think this has no sense at all but certainly, someday, if you plan to spend the rest of your life with someone then you will have to face it. So, bring it on! If you were asked this very same question, what would your answer be?

In the meantime, here’s a collection of other people’s views. Some responded out fun, some with genuine sincerity. Let’s respect each other’s views.

Answer 1:
“If I had to change my religious beliefs, I would not marry the person that I love because the first person I love is God, who created me. I have my faith and my principles, and this is what makes me who I am. And if that person loves me, he should love my God, too.” ~Bb. Pilipinas, Sahmcey Supsup

Answer 2:

“If someone who loves me wanted me to change my religious beliefs before I marry him, I would. Because I believe no matter on what part of the Earth we live or whatever color of skin we have, we only have one God, there may be different images that we worship but I am sure that the God he praises is the same God I am praising.Changing religious beliefs doesn’t mean giving up my faith in God its about compromising and being in communion with the person you love in worshiping God.” ~Blogger Docseree

Answer 3:

“For me…No,f the person really love me, he shd love and accept me for who i am.”..:-) ~MCC

Answer 4:

“My beliefs define who I am… the person who truly loves me would respect my beliefs, my religion and I would do the same too. At the end of the day, we can always compromise.” 🙂 ~DB

Answer 5:
“I agree hahaha napag-uusapan naman ang lahat ng bagay, kung maaari namang ipag-ugnay ang mga usaping naghihiwalay sa atin, at maaari namang ipagkabit ang mga usapin sa kabila ng aming pinagkaiba, bakit hindi… kung matatanggap niya ang aking pananampalataya, at ako ri’y matatanggap ang kanyang paniniwala, hindi kailangang ipaghiwalay ay pagmamahal at pananampalataya…kung ito rin ang magbubunga ng masayang pagsasama. i rest my case… i need an interpreter haha” ~PJN

Answer 6:

“I believe love transcends beyond religion, beyond race (beyond gender – pwde rin). If it cannot, then it is not love. Salamat at magandang gabi.”
chos hahahahaha.”~RDO

Answer 7:

I don’t have to change my religious belief. We just have to respect each others creed. Though it might cause conflict at times, we will try to work it out and make our relationship stronger through that challenge. Thus, I’ll marry the person I love in spite of religion. It’s not a matter of religion but of respect. ^^” ~IG

Answer 8:

“Did he require it of me? or am i just contemplating on making a decision that I think would bring me closer to my beloved? hehehe” ~JLA

Answer 9:

Love should not be based on anything, you are not meant to love a person just to judge each others beliefs, values and principles, instead you are suppose to accept each other..Just like my family..having a Muslim father and a Catholic mom, religion was never an issue, and as their child I was always given a choice and faith and your belief will always be your choice “winner!” ~ANM

Personal Answer:
You should never change who you are and what you believe to satisfy anyone [If they can’t accept you for who you are, then you’re better off without them.] but in this world full of speculations, only God’s word is certain.[YES, I am a Christian—proud to be one] 😀
[My not-for-Miss Universe answer] I would first make it a priority to marry someone who shared my faith. Your faith will be the foundation of the marriage…so it’s best that you both have the same faith and not compromise due to earthly love. If your priority is to serve God and love Him, you’ll look for someone that shares that same priority.
God does not want Christians to be unequally yoked with people who have different beliefs than what He has taught us.
2 Corinthians 6:14 Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?
Conclusion: Beliefs would matter to people who love God above anything else and I’m pretty sure that God would honor our choices that would bring us closer to Him. 🙂 ~HistoryMaker /The Official Traveler

“My Dear, It Matters Who You Marry”

Did you know that there are only two BIG LIFE decisions a person could ever critically make in his lifetime?
One, eternal LIFE and two, LIFEtime partner. I was just browsing the internet when I got stuck reading one the best reads. I couldn’t stop thinking about it and I agree with it. I just want to share it here as a self-reminder but if you have time, please ponder on it too. It reads this way:

My husband and I were once with a youth group. There were three kids sitting across from us at a meal: two guys and a girl. The one guy was a computer geek with glasses. The other one was a college student with slightly cooler hair and no glasses. The girl was obviously with him. But while the computer geek was busy serving everyone at the meal, clearing plates and garbage, the college student got angry with the girl for a small accident and poured red juice over her leather jacket and white shirt. She picked the wrong guy, and the juice didn’t seem to change her mind. She is in for some grief if that relationship continues and especially if it leads to marriage.

So to all the young, unmarried Christian girls out there, listen up: who you marry matters. You might think that the way he treats you isn’t so bad. It’s not going to get better after the wedding. You might think that he’ll change. It’s possible, but most don’t. You might think that you’ll be able to minister to him and help him. Possibly, but if you can’t now, you won’t then, and you will be at risk yourself. A husband should lead and cherish you, not need your counsel for basic personality or behavior issues.

Unless someone married is very frank with you, you can’t understand how much a husband will impact your entire life. Next to salvation there is no other long term event that will change so many areas of your life so deeply. Here are just some of the ways that marriage will impact every aspect of living.

1. It will impact you spiritually. If the guy is not a believer, you can stop right there. You have no business yoking a redeemed soul with an unregenerate one, even if he seems open to change. Christ has bought you with a price and it is not an option to give away that blood bought heart to someone who doesn’t know and love your Lord. It will cripple your spiritual development, open up a host of temptations, stifle your prayer life, make regular church going difficult, and cause massive parenting conflict if you have children.

If the guy is a believer, is he a strong one? Will he lead you in prayer, Bible reading, family devotions, and public worship? Or will you be on your own? Is he going to make spiritual growth a priority or do other things come first? Is he going to ask you how it’s going with your soul so he can help you grow in holiness and love for Christ, or will he leave that to your pastor? Is he going to lead the children in this, or will you have to spearhead that? In church, is he going to help the kids sit well, pray, find the hymn, or will you be the one pointing out what is happening next and helping the family keep up? Many women have married spiritually immature men, thinking that it wasn’t a big issue, or that the man would change, and they were wrong. They bear the scars.

The health of your eternity is at stake. Think carefully.

2. It will impact you emotionally. Is the guy you’re thinking of going to encourage you, love you, be kind to you, and seek to understand you, or will he want to go out with the guys when you’re having a hard night? Will he listen when you are struggling with something or will he be preoccupied with a video game? Is he going to be annoyed when you cry or will he get you Kleenex and give you a hug? Is he going to understand that you are probably more tender than he is, more sensitive to issues and comments, or is he regularly going to run rough shod over your feelings? One woman was struggling to breastfeed her new baby, believing that that was the best thing for her, but it was very difficult. Instead of giving support and encouragement, the husband would make mooing sounds whenever he saw his wife working at it. We have to get rid of princess complexes, but we do have emotional needs. Any guy who is uncaring about your feelings and self esteem is selfish and should be left alone.

Be careful – a husband can cripple or foster emotional health.

3. It will impact you physically. Is the guy you’re with going to provide for your basic needs? Will he be able to shelter, clothe and feed you? At one point in our marriage, I was worried that there was no employment opportunity. My husband assured me that he would work at McDonalds, dig ditches, clean up roadkill – whatever it took to provide for the family, regardless of his gifts and training. That’s the kind of attitude you want. A man who doesn’t provide for his household is worse than an infidel (I Tim. 5:8). You might have to help ease the financial burden, but unless your husband is disabled or there is another unusual circumstance, you shouldn’t have to carry it yourself.

Will the man you are with care for your body or abuse it? If he gives you little smacks, kicks, etc. when you’re dating, get away. It’s almost guaranteed that he will abuse you after marriage, and stats show that’s especially true when you are pregnant. Is he going to care for and protect your body or will he hurt it? There are women in churches across America who thought it was no big deal to have little (sort of friendly) punches or slaps from their boyfriends, but who are covering up the bruises from their husbands.

Will the man you are with care for you sexually? Is he going to honour the marriage bed in physical and mental faithfulness to you or will he flirt, feed his porn addiction, or even leave you for another woman? You can’t always predict these issues, but if the seeds or practices are already there, watch out. I recently saw a newly married couple and the husband was flirting openly with another woman. Unless something drastic happens, that marriage is headed for disaster.

Is he going to be tender and gentle to you in bed? An unbelieving co-worker once told my sister that after her first sexual encounter, she had trouble walking for a few days because her boyfriend was so rough. In other words, he wasn’t selfless enough to care for the body of the woman he said he loved.

Watch out. Your body needs care and protection.

4. It will impact you mentally. Is the man that you’re thinking of going to be a source of worry or will he help you deal with your worries? Is he going to encourage your intellectual development, or will he neglect it? Is he going to value your opinions and listen to what you are thinking, or will he disregard your thoughts? Is he going to help you manage stress so that your mind is not burdened that way, or is he going to let you struggle through issues alone? Is he going to care for you and be thoughtful of you if you are experiencing mental strain, or will he ignore it? I know of a woman who could handle pregnancy and child birth very well physically but postpartum depression took a huge toll on her mind. The husband overlooked it, continuing to have more children, until his wife ended up in a mental institution.

You might think that the intellectual or mental side of a marriage is small. It’s bigger than you think. Consider it seriously.

5. It will impact you relationally. How’s your relationship with your mother? Your dad? Do you love them? Does your boyfriend? Fast forward ten years: you tell your husband that your mother is coming for the weekend. Is he excited? Disappointed? Angry? Making snide jokes with his friends? Of course, a husband should come first in your priority of relationships, as you both leave father and mother and cleave to one another. But parents are still a big part of the picture. Whatever negative feelings he has about your parents now will probably be amplified after marriage. Your marriage will either strengthen or damage – even destroy – your relationship with your parents. The people who know you best and love you most right now could be cut out of the picture by a husband who hates them.

It’s the same with sisters and friends. Will they be welcomed, at reasonable times, in your home? Will the guy who you’re with encourage healthy relationships with other women, or will he be jealous of normal, biblical friendships? Will he help you mentor younger women and be thankful when older women mentor you, or will he belittle that?

Don’t sacrifice many good relationships for the sake of one guy who can’t value the people who love you.

So how will your boyfriend do after the vows? Because this is just a sampling of the ways that a husband can bless or curse his wife. The effects are far reaching, long lasting, and either wonderful or difficult. True, there are no perfect men out there. But there are great ones. And it’s better to be single for life than to marry someone who will make your life a burden. Singleness can be great. Marriage to the wrong person is a nightmare. I’ve been in a church parking lot where the pastor had to call the police to protect a wife from a husband who was trying to stop her from worshiping and being with her family. It’s ugly. Don’t be so desperate to get married that your marriage is a grief. If you are in an unhappy marriage, there are ways to get help. But if you’re not married, don’t put yourself in that situation. Don’t marry someone whose leadership you can’t follow. Don’t marry someone who is not seeking to love you as Christ loved the church. Marry someone who knows and demonstrates the love of Christ.
~©

Love is a Gift

Love is a gift. ^_^ Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart (Ps. 37:4)


Lovely isn’t it? Let me put it this way. Do not rush things. Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm. 37:4). A truly beautiful love story is written by the Author and the Finisher of our faith. Watch this.

Lesson: Be careful.  Guard your heart. You only have one life to love.Strive harder to work more on the inside– a woman after God’s heart.

Love,

Historymaker 

© HistoryMaker/The Official Traveler